


torpor

by rahelawriter



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Ambiguous Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Angst, Anxiety, Coma, Crying, Established Relationship, F/M, Gender-Neutral Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mid-Canon, Other, POV Second Person, Pain, Patch 4.4: Prelude in Violet Spoilers, Patch 4.5: A Requiem For Heroes Spoilers, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Sleeptalking, Unconsciousness, Watching Someone Sleep, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28900407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rahelawriter/pseuds/rahelawriter
Summary: Mere moments after Thancred’s soulless body hits the floor, he begins to talk in his sleep…
Relationships: Warrior of Light/Thancred Waters
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	torpor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BackForBreakfast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackForBreakfast/gifts).



> Enjoy your Secret Than-ta present, Yays! You wanted Thancred angst, here it is!

“THANCRED…!”

The millisecond after he fell from his chair, you leapt up from your own, crying out his name in a blind panic as you ran to him. Thancred laid face down and unmoving on the cold floor, and with trembling hands you rolled him onto his back, raising his head to rest in your lap and pulling away the bandanna he wore over his left eye.

Touching your unsteady fingertips to just beneath his jaw, you were relieved to feel his pulse still beating; and his chest steadily rose and fell with breath as Kan-E-Senna laid her hand upon it.

But clearly the Seedseer saw something that you did not, for her expression suddenly became one of intense alarm, and your heart froze in your chest.

“Twelve forfend…” She murmured to herself before immediately turning around and commanded: “Bear him to a private chamber! Have every healer make ready!  _ Swiftly!” _

The sickening anxiety in the pit of your stomach only grew, but you complied and backed away just enough to let Aymeric and Lyse get close enough to pick his limp body up off the floor. But right as they kneeled down to do so…

Thancred seemed to stir. Weak grunts sounded from his throat, and his limbs began to move, just slightly…! Heart leaping with hope that he was alright after all, you drew close, expecting to see his eyes open…!

But not only did they remain closed, what you mistook for his waking was instead him muttering in his sleep. Still, that was better than nothing, and you leaned down to listen more closely, hoping that might help to hear him better.

And the first words out of his mouth that you were able to make out were:  _ “Wh… Who’re you…” _

On pure reflex, you answered him as if the question was addressed to you. “Thanny, it’s me. Can’t you hear me…?”

Immediately, a small gasp escaped him, and he began mumbling again, less intelligibly than before:  _ “Immon… Thfirs…? Buhthen… Mmmih…” _

You lean down, straining your ears to hear him as closely as possible…

_ “Mmmihn…”  _ Thancred’s brow slowly furrowed as if he were in pain, and his lips drew into a thin line.  _ “Min… filia…?” _

At once, everything seemed to hush. You, Y’shtola, Alisaie, and Lyse all froze at the mention of your lost leader’s name; was Thancred dreaming about her…?

And then, all of a sudden, his slightly pained expression rapidly changed, screwing up into one of deep anguish… His breathing grew erratic, his head rapidly shook, and he groaned through gnashing teeth,  _ “No… No, that… That can’t be… NO!” _

Not a dream, he was having a nightmare… As much as you wanted to stay here and try to hug him through it like you and he have done for each other through every nightmare, you knew he needed to be moved to a proper infirmary bed. Reluctantly, you left his side again, watching him be carried away…

Listening to Kan-E-Senna’s explanation—that Thancred’s soul had somehow been forcibly  _ called away, _ and taken to some unknown, distant location—only made you feel more ill with worry. And upon being told about how he had cried out in pain during his torpor, she could only speculate as to why: despite his soul’s disappearance, it still remained connected with its body, and whatever his soul experienced was reflected in his body’s reactions. Strong emotions of joy, sadness, anger, or distress felt by his soul, would show on his face.

You touched a hand to your heart as if to lessen its anxious pounding. If Thancred  _ wasn’t _ dreaming, then what was all that about Minfilia…? You didn’t know, and you were afraid to find out.

You and the others returned to the Rising Stones to discuss the situation with Urianger, only to be met with another bout of searing pain in your temples, and two more unconscious friends. And as you and Alisaie and the other Scions crowded around them, Urianger and Y’shtola, just as Thancred had, began to twist and turn as if they were both having fitful dreams. Y’shtola in particular seemed to look almost angry; and as the Boulder brothers carried their bodies up the stairs to the Dawn’s Respite--the Rising Stones’ infirmary--Urianger began to breathe unsteadily, his lips shaking as if he were about to weep. And he murmured a desperate plea for forgiveness, followed by something that sounded a great deal like  _ your _ name…

After your visit with Ga Bu, Alisaie sent for Thancred’s body to be brought to the Stones so that all of the comatose Scions could be observed together. Immediately, you volunteered to go fetch him; and despite her assurances that that wasn’t necessary, you insisted. You knew it would be a long trip from Ala Mhigo all the way to Mor Dhona, even by airship--teleporting certainly wasn’t an option in these circumstances--but you didn’t care. You wanted to stay close to him.

At the break of a grey, gloomy dawn in the Lochs, you walked alongside the chirurgeons carrying Thancred on a stretcher through the royal menagerie and down to the airship landing. You tried as hard as you could to  _ not _ mentally compare the sight to a funeral procession. Once you were all aboard the airship, you tucked him into another bed below the deck, and felt the telltale lurch of the ship’s takeoff.

You stayed with him the whole time. In normal circumstances you wouldn’t have missed getting a beautiful bird’s eye view of Gyr Abania and the Black Shroud; but obviously, these weren’t normal circumstances. Sitting on the bed beside him, you brushed his bangs out of his face and held your hand underneath his nose. The faint, but rhythmic movement of air against your fingers indicated his breathing was normal. Likewise checking his pulse and finding that normal as well, you let out a small sigh of relief. 

And then, as if on cue, his heartbeat rapidly picked up. On instinct, you held your breath and watched his face intently…

And then, he  _ smiled. _ And murmured, so quietly you nearly missed it:

_ “’s time… to go…” _

_ ‘Time to go’...? _ What did that mean? Who was he talking to…? You barely had time to think that before he spoke again:

_ “’m not going anywhere… I promise you…” _

That was clearly indicative of  _ something. _ His soul was saying those words to  _ someone. _ But you were frustratingly only getting fragments of a presumed conversation, with no context that would help you to glean anything about where he was. You couldn’t understand…

So you  _ tried _ not to let your mind dwell on what sounded a great deal like Thancred pledging to  _ someone _ that he wouldn’t leave them. And you tried  _ not  _ to entertain the terrifying notion that, wherever his soul was, he would  _ willingly choose to stay there and never return home, leaving you behind with his empty husk of a body forever…  _

Your mind swam with anxiety for minutes on end. Squeezing his hand in yours, as if he would feel it, you tried to chase the thought out of your head. It wouldn’t never happen, not ever. He wouldn’t abandon the Scions—abandon  _ you— _ for anything or anyone, would he…?

Except…

_ “Minfilia…” _

Immediately you were focused again, leaning down, watching and listening closely. And just like when he’d first fallen, he’d begun tossing and turning, and the expression upon his face turning into one of intense distress. And the audible grief in his voice sent a dagger through your own heart.

_ “… your suffering…? Your sacrifice…? This… isn’t fair…!” _

More tense seconds of silence followed; he grimaced in pain, lips quivering, teeth clenching, and  _ water _ gathering at his squeezed-shut eyelids.

Your breath caught in your throat.  _ He was crying.  _ In all the time you’d known him, not once had you ever seen him cry. Without thinking, you touched his face, rubbing away the tears with your thumbs. His chest shook with ragged breath, his whole body wracked itself with sobs, his face showing a deeper despair than you’d ever seen him express. Gathering him up into your arms and holding him against you as tight as you could, you hoped that wherever he was, he could feel the comfort you were trying to give him.

Eventually enough, the airship landed in Mor Dhona, and you got him home. And while Alisaie and the outer Scions inquired with experts across the realm, you stayed in Dawn’s Respite for as long and as often as your duties would allow you to watch over him and the others. Hours would go by in that room, sitting in the lonely darkness, and all the while you listened for one of them to give a sign as to where they were, and why.

But as it always did, duty called; the Empire reared its ugly head, and you had to leave your vigil. And when all was said and done, both the twins were rendered unconscious husks as well, and brought into Dawn’s Respite soon after, and with the exceptions of Krile and Tataru, you were totally alone.

Time passed. Before you knew it, the tan on Thancred’s skin had faded with the lack of sunlight. His hair and beard grew to the point where you and Tataru had to trim it to more easily keep him clean. Ever since his tearful outburst, he would still emote in his sleep, albeit less often. And whenever he spoke, he always seemed to be talking to one person.

Some times, it was worry you saw writ upon his face;  _ “You need to be more careful…” _

But other times, he would smile;  _ “Congratulations… You’re officially a better swimmer than Urianger…” _

And one day, after you’d finished helping Tataru with changing and washing the bedsheets, you walked back into Dawn’s Respite and heard him mumbling  _ your _ name. He’d never done that before. Immediately you raced to his side, and, with a perhaps selfish hope, listened for more.

He was describing you to this mystery person. He was describing you, your deeds, who you were to him--all with a warm, loving fondness to his voice that brought a flush to your cheeks--and bittersweetly smiling while he did so. And he finished by saying to the mystery person that they would meet you someday, hopefully soon…

But, most of the time, he stayed silent and slumbering. And all the while, you sat next to him, wondering if he was safe, if he was with the others, and about this person he seemed to always be talking to. It couldn’t have been Minfilia, could it…?

You had so many questions, and no way of getting answers…

…

You encountered the enigmatic figure, who told you of the First, and the Crystal Tower, and the beacon. When Tataru told you of the discovery of the Syrcus Trench and invited you to join the search, you somehow knew that you would be taken to your friends. So, you decided to pay their bodies one last visit before you left, checking all of them individually.

(Urianger’s early distress after he fell seemed to have abated; in fact, after an incident where he began rambling incoherently for several minutes, he only ever seemed to smile.)

(Early on, whenever Y’shtola spoke, her tone always seemed frustrated, irritated--whoever she was speaking to, she quite disliked. But after a certain point, she too, began smiling quite often.)

(Alphinaud’s expressions that manifested on his body were limited to ones of frustration or sorrow; he rarely spoke at all, only occasionally muttering angry curses directed towards something called  _ ‘sineaters.’ _ )

(Alisaie began to thrash at someone as soon as she hit the ground in Ghimlyt, making it difficult for you and Hien to take her to safety. But once she was in her bed, she only ever emoted to cry, her only words being of various foods, and of names you didn’t know.)

While they now seemed to be the picture of a peaceful sleep, you knew that they were only empty bodies with their souls fighting some unknown battle far, far away, further than you’d ever gone before. But now, you would make your way to where they were. Looking over all of them, you took a deep breath and swore:

“You’ll all be home soon. I promise.”

Thancred’s was the last bed you passed on the way out of the room; your eyes lingered on him, and your stride slowed to a stop. With a sigh through your nose, you closed your eyes, leaned over him, gently touched your lips to his, and whispered:

“I’ll find you, love. Wait for me.”

In the end, he found you.

But just before your reunion on the First, you learned of the Oracle. You learned of it, and at once you knew this horrible fate had been the reason why Thancred had called out for Minfilia with such pain in his voice. And the person you’d heard him talking to all this time was this new, reincarnated Minfilia that he’d rescued and taken into his care.

And once the Echo had shown you what had happened in Nabaath Areng, you understood; that was what had made his body on the Source weep so bitterly. The choice that would need to be made, and how much it would hurt. All the pain he’d suffered during his time here had changed him--hardened him even more than the aftermath of the Antitower, and you understood why.

Without a word, you crossed the room, and held him. And this time, he could finally feel it.


End file.
